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Self-Love Distortion

Updated: Apr 21, 2021

Self-love, self-care and self-worth are concepts we hear thrown around all the time. Something that started as a genuine need has been bastardized by marketing, societal standards and the stories we tell ourselves that stem from a "work is worth" mindset. Truly, we are all inherently worthy. We are all here serving our missions. Progressing on our paths or shifting them accordingly. Even what seems like a misstep can still have purpose.

Ultimately, our self love journey can be a lifelong path for some. My goal through my teachings is to create tangible action steps that help you climb the stairsteps to authentic self-worth. While there are many strategies for advancing this process, my favorite is to acknowledge the importance of believability within our self talk and how that ties into manifestation. A frequently used pathway to self-love is of course, positive affirmations. But anyone that has done positive affirmations on a deep level, (or when addressing seriously rooted negative beliefs on worthiness) knows that the words feel meaningless if they don't feel believable. What ends up happening is we state a positive affirmation and then following it up with either an energetic or a literal eyeroll! When we put energy behind discounting our statement we are effectively affirming the negative instead of the positive, ultimately eliminating the point of doing an affirmation at all. So what do you do instead?

Get in the habit of changing your mind, or correcting yourself. We have to build the mental muscle memory of not believing the first thing that pops into our heads. The first thing that pops into our head is usually a conditioned thought, a judgment thought, something you have been taught to believe but doesn't exist organically inside you. So instead of internalizing immediately and sitting in the emotional reaction of these harmful beliefs, get curious with yourself. Ask yourself questions like "where did that idea come from?" "whose voice do I hear when I have this thought?" "Do I really believe that?" "whats real?" As we begin to disect these questions and their answers, it becomes easier and easier to skip from the initial first harmful thought, into a new programmed thought replacement: neutral affirmation. A neutral affirmation is like a bridge between self dislike and self love. consider it your "self meh" stepping stone on your journey to authentic self love. A neutral affirmation is something believable, and something true that replaces the negative self talk. For example: "My thighs are too big" becomes "I have legs for walking", or the slightly more positively charged "my legs are strong". Remember: it has to believable to you, so if it's not and you find yourself cringing at the thought, modify it down to it's simplest version until it is true and believable. Eventually with practice you will go from a disparaging inner monologue to a more neutral or corrected monologue. Once that shift is made you're in a better position to shift the language into positivity, and it will feel more accessible because you are starting from a neutral instead of a negative. The pathway is easier taken in smaller steps, and with practice, you'll become an expert at changing your mind.

For more information on tools and techniques for integrating meaningful self-care and the ways that correlates with your ability to manifest (and techniques for that too!) check out my Take a Class page and enroll in The Art of Self-Love and Ethical Manifestation.


You may also like my TikToks on the subject, You can find them HERE and HERE


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